Direct from my Appalachian home town FB page: ❄️ SEVERE WEATHER ALERT❄️ see comments for laughs!

Peggy Winters-Stevens

Murfreesboro, TN · 11 days ago

part 3 Further updates will be issued when the situation escalates, de‑escalates, or someone finally finds the emergency binder that was last seen in 1998.

Peggy Winters-Stevens

Murfreesboro, TN · 11 days ago

part 2 One commissioner has been assigned to monitor snowfall by standing outside with a yardstick like he’s judging the Miss Carter County Snowflake Pageant. • The city Manager has ordered the City Street Department to salt the city streets , the sidewalks, the parking lots, and any citizen who looks like they might slip. • Mayor Woodby has requested emergency assistance from Johnson City, which replied with a single text: “lol no”. •The Emergency Operations Center is now located in the break room, where a single space heater is fighting for its life and a whiteboard that says "where's the binder."

Peggy Winters-Stevens

Murfreesboro, TN · 11 days ago

❄️ SEVERE WEATHER ALERT❄️ Residents may observe the following emergency measures that are happening now and in the future. • The mayor has taken command of the courthouse hallway, pacing with a clipboard like she’s directing a Broadway musical about salt trucks. She has already fired two imaginary cast members. • All county employees have been instructed to walk briskly and look concerned, resulting in a synchronized panic strut that resembles a flock of geese late for a dentist appointment to maintain the appearance of preparedness. •